Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
