so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
