Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
