Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
