her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
