I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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