oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
