Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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