What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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