I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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