I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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