Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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