I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
