How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
