i think i have herpe
just one?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
