my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
