i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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