girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
