Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
