how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
not ubering you a puppy
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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