bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
