He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
