Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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