Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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