can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
