just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
