watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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