Your dad touched me again.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
try to milk me bitch
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