Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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