what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
