drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
