just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
