Kiss
Puke
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My hand turned me down
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
