these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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