I wish i was in the wii world.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
