Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
and you fell through a lawn chair
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
