apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize