# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
