I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
