my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize