I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
