is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So gin and wine won't be happening again
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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