Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
