at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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