this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
