singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
