And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize