i don't like sucking hair
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
