im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
