Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
