I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Randomize
