margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
why is half of my head shaved?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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