went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
