ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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