I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
