Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
