she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize