Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
