i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
