Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
