I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
